More than one way to celebrate

Recently I posed the question of ‘if you do, how do you celebrate your personal wins?’ to my introverted and/or neurosparkly friends. I was curious about how others celebrate personal milestones.

As a neurosparkly introvert I was unsurprised by the recurring themes in the responses. Here’s a few to give you the gist, and which I personally love, as the recurring themes are peace, quiet and solitary celebrations:

• “Most times I don't. But sometimes I will take myself out for a drink or a meal. I consider that a bit of a treat.”

• “Quiet dinner at home.”

• “Going somewhere peaceful for coffee with those that understand me, or who are like me.”

• “I go to the movies or buy a new book.”

• “Quietly with a cuppa.”

• “I think just knowing that I've reached a goal is enough for me … I give myself a quiet nod, assess why I was able to reach that goal, and then just get on with reaching the next one.”

How we celebrate is a fascinating topic, and for me, one which is dripping with unacceptance and ableism to be frank.

From recent experience, having launched two new publications in the past four months amongst other firsts, there appears to be a set of societal rules around how one ought to celebrate personal milestones, wins or achievements. And there is a layer of admonishment – intentionally or not – if you do not choose to follow these hidden rules.

If I am being completely honest, the question ‘how are you celebrating …’ fills me with dread and fear, as I know my response will not be acceptable based on general societal expectations.

I am very aware of, and fully onboard with, the concept of acknowledging your wins and milestones is great for increasing your confidence, self-worth and recognising personal growth. What I’m not onboard with is the expectation this needs to be a certain way or a certain series of events or experiences to be classified as celebration.

From my experience and training as a Happiness Coach, I also know the way we experience joy, peace, contentment and hedonistic happiness is as unique to us as our fingerprints. I also understand many of us rebel against being raised to not ‘big-note’ yourself or to fear ‘tall poppy syndrome’ and how we are all unravelling this conditioning on some level, so we can be our true selves and celebrate. Add to this another layer, being all of us having different upbringings and experiences, along with diverse ways of processing information, and I begin to ponder.

My question and subsequent ponderings are not about why should we celebrate our milestones and wins – we most certainly should! It is about why there is a seemingly defined and acceptable way to do this based on societal norms.

Celebrating personal milestones is a unique experience for everyone, shaped by our individual preferences, personalities, and neurological makeup. Whether you're neurodivergent, neurotypical, introverted, or extroverted – and the list goes on – the way we choose to mark these special moments can vary widely.

Are you ready to explore these differences with me?

Neurodivergent vs. Neurotypical Celebrations

For us neurosparkly folks, celebrating personal milestones can be a deeply personal and tailored experience. We will often have unique preferences and sensory sensitivities that influence how we celebrate. Some of us may prefer quieter, more introspective celebrations, engaging in activities that align with our specific interests and sensory preferences. For example, a neurosparkly person might find joy in a sensory-friendly activity like a nature walk, painting, or spending time with close friends and family in a comfortable, familiar setting.

Celebrating personal milestones based on our unique neurological makeup can be more meaningful and fulfilling for us neurosparkly folks compared to traditional, socially-driven celebrations.

On the other hand, neurotypical folks often celebrate in more socially conventional ways. These celebrations might include larger social gatherings, public recognition, and sensory-rich environments. Traditional celebrations may involve parties, events, or group outings where social interaction and networking are key components. These shared experiences and communal activities often create a sense of belonging and connection within a group.

Introverted vs. Extroverted Celebrations

When it comes to personality preferences, introverts and extroverts also have distinct ways of celebrating personal milestones. Introverts tend to prefer low-key, quiet celebrations. Such as enjoying a peaceful evening at home, indulging in a favourite book or movie, or engaging in a solitary hobby.

If we do choose to celebrate with others, we prefer small, intimate gatherings with close friends or family, filled with meaningful conversations and deeper connections. Us introverts may also choose to celebrate by taking time for personal reflection and self-appreciation.

Extroverts, by contrast, thrive in social settings and often celebrate by organising parties or social events. Generally, they enjoy being surrounded by people and the energy of a lively atmosphere. Extroverts may seek public recognition for their achievements and find sharing their successes on social media or making a celebratory speech quite easy and generally don’t second guess doing this. Spontaneity is also a hallmark of extroverted celebrations, with impromptu get-togethers or surprise parties adding an element of excitement and unpredictability.

Embracing Diversity in Celebrations

Both neurodivergent and neurotypical, as well as introverted and extroverted, ways of celebrating have their own unique value and significance. For me the key is for us to all recognise and respect someone’s individual preferences and needs, creating an inclusive environment where everyone can celebrate in a way that is meaningful to them. By embracing and supporting these diverse ways of celebrating, we can build a more inclusive, accepting and understanding society.

Whether it's a quiet night in or a lively party, the celebration should be a reflection of you and what brings you joy. After all, our personal milestones are about honouring our achievements and finding happiness in our own unique ways.

Whatever way you want to celebrate and acknowledge your worth, your accomplishments and the unique Elegant Rebel that you are, take pride in all your youness and celebrate exactly how you want too. Dance to your own elegantly rebellious rhythm every single day.

So if your question of ‘how did you celebrate…’ is met with ‘I made myself a coffee and smiled while watching the ocean’, please think before responding with a ‘is that all?’ or ‘you should really celebrate your wins!’ or something along those lines. And perhaps take the time to ponder why you are not accepting of someone else’s ways to find joy. You may make some interesting discoveries while pondering.

International Best Selling & Indie Reader Approved Author, Soulful Intuitive Mentor and founder of Elegant Rebel®, Peta-Ann inspires and supports neurosparkly and spiritually curious souls to feel safe and heard when unmasking their magic, by following their inner voice instead of societal norms. P-A is late verified neurodivergent and a breast cancer thriver, choosing to stay flat almost a decade ago. She’s also an Oracle Card Author, Holistic Counsellor, Happiness Coach, Colour Therapist, Reiki Master, and Soul Coaching® Oracle Reader.