Spring is almost upon us and the 'silly season' is just around the corner with all the end of year activities and celebrations. Now. I don’t know about you, but this time of year brings a strong sense of pressure to be outwardly happy.
If I am brutally honest, I tend to become more of a hermit this time of year, purely in an effort to preserve my sense of peace and, wait for it, my sense of happiness.
Huge parties do not bring me happiness. Drunk colleagues do not bring me happiness. Overcrowded shopping centres with exhausted customer service staff members certainly do not bring me joy, peace or happiness. The ocean glistening in the sunshine does bring me joy – crowded beaches do not. Simple coffee catch ups with my close friends and family bring me joy – as they do any other time of year.
Which made me think - what does happiness mean to other folks?
According to Louise Heite, Life Activator, Happiness Coach – and I agree completely with her summation by the way: “Everybody has different opinions, so if I’m talking about happiness, does it mean the same thing as your definition of happiness? Probably not. So. It’s really about questioning it and identifying it for yourself. It’s not my happiness. My happiness is not your happiness, and vice versa.”
For me, when I think about the word happiness, it feels like a fleeting state of being such as enjoying chocolate; having pretty hair; or any kind of dopamine rush really. I do not sense it to be a truly sustainable feeling. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t believe in happiness. For me, sustainable happiness lands in the realm of living my values everyday such as joy, peace, contentment, playfulness and optimism.
Perhaps the difference between my versions of happiness could be summed up simply as finding happiness vs seeking inner happiness. And you definitely do need both versions in your world every single day!
However, I personally do not rely on external influences to bring happiness into my world. I’m not one to say things like “I’ll be happy when… I buy a house or get a new job or find a stunning piece of amethyst jewellery… hmmm I may need to reconsider that last one. But you get what I mean.
For me, happiness is an internal job. Finding happiness from wanting to obtain something externally, is also dependent on others and circumstances outside of your control. You are giving your power over to circumstance or others in the hope of obtaining happiness. Not really a positive overall long-term way of living in my books.
To feel contentment, peace, joy and all the other sustainable feelings of happiness – finding it within yourself is the golden ticket. Then, whether you get the house or not, or whether you get that job or not, you will feel peaceful and contented.
I hear you saying this is all very fabulous information, but how do I work out what happiness means to me? And why should I care anyway?
Let’s tackle why should you care first – ultimately, we all want to live with greater joy. Simple as that. And if you are struggling to work out what happiness means to you – perhaps a Happiness Coach could assist.
What is Happiness Coaching I hear you quizzically asking. No doubt you may have added some additional adjectives between either ‘what’ and ‘is’ or ‘is’ and ‘Happiness’ or maybe even both.
When I first stumbled across Happiness Coaching I too had that quizzical, well that’s rather an intriguing concept face. Okeh it was more a WTAF? face. And then as every neurodiverse person in the world does… I started researching this befuddling term. It turns out not to be what I was expecting. In fact, the term ‘Happiness Coaching’ has less to do with happiness and more to do with how I approach day-to-day life.
Happiness coaching is a simple concept – working with a coach to change whatever isn’t allowing you to live authentically; as well as working to decrease any unhelpful and unhealthful thought patterns. In fact, you could even describe it as reversing the FOMO thought process and savouring all that is good in our lives instead – especially finding magic in all the small things. And here’s an idea – working out how to embrace everything life has to offer instead always focusing on lack and thinking you missing out. Perhaps even stepping out of the ‘victim mentality’ which has its clutches on you whether you realise it or not.
The main goal of a Happiness Coach is to empower their clients to live happier lives – what ever this means for the client, not the coach. The one thing a Happiness Coach will not and should not profess to do is “make their clients’ happy”.
And how do I know all of this you may be asking yourself right about now… well I am a Certified Happiness Coach – didn’t see that coming hey! So if you’re wanting more peace and joy in everyday life, find yourself a Happiness Coach. I may even be available!!!
And if you feel so inclined, drop a comment below on what you do to seek inner happiness.
Always remember to celebrate your uniqueness and in the words of Dr Suess “There’s no one youer than you!”
Peta-Ann Wood is an Elegant Rebel®; Writer; Happiness Coach; Published Author; Holistic Counsellor; Colour Therapist; Reiki Master; Certified Angel Tarot Card Read and Soul Coaching® Oracle Reader.
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