We all know someone, or of someone, who would have been the perfect Australian of the Year. For me, right now, at this very point in time, Taryn Brumfitt was definitely the perfect choice. The detractors of her amazing work and deserved accolades are welcome to their opinions and my counter opinion is simple – ‘read the room’.
We are all placed under so much pressure to conform to a certain shape, certain height, certain size to be accepted in mainstream and dare I say it to be seen as normal. Personally, I’ve been on some form of doctor initiated ‘diet’ or ‘eating plan’ from an early age, in an attempt to stay average sized. I was a teenager in the 1980s. I was a size 14/16, approximately 76 kilograms and 178cm tall – obese according to all media reports and Cosmo/Cleo/Dolly articles at the time and some members of the medical fraternity. Enter stage left, lifelong body-shaming issues. How did we get this so incredibly wrong?
Perhaps it’s my lived experience – bullied incessantly at primary school for being big and I cannot recall all the times uncouth statements were made in my general direction by ill-mannered and ill-informed people based on my build and size – but I feel, our current obsession with conforming to a societal definition of external beauty needs Taryn’s message now more than ever.
Her passion for every one of us to love the bodies we wonder through life in, is simply awe inspiring. We’ve all had these conversations, as well as the one about the harm the beauty and diet industry may cause since the enhancement of photos for publication began. Messages we have been hearing for decades, however Taryn’s directness and authenticity seems to be what has been lacking in previous messaging.
And living life on social networking platforms and through digital media has certainly exacerbated the issues previously played down.
For decades I outwardly appeared to be rejecting society’s version of normal. I ‘performed’ in plus-sized fashion shows; I developed a steely look of ‘go on I dare you to say something’ – I haven’t lost this look by the way -– and a witty comeback to shut down conversations. And I don’t know how many times I have agreed with people that ‘yes my build allows me to carry off my size’. I appeared to be confident. Yet internally I was constantly determining what I had to do to be more normal looking – more exercise; more diets; more weird-arse fat loss programs.
And despite cognitively recognising I didn’t need to fit into the average mould, it was being diagnosed with breast cancer and having a bilateral mastectomy which led to my life altering mindset change. It was 2016, post mastectomy and post revision surgery when I dragged the decades of despising my body to the see what the Embrace movement was all about.
In fact, assisting at an Embrace Fundraiser was my first major outing after I had decided to stay flat. I was still nervous about my choices and how I would be received publicly.
There had been an inkling of a mindset change prior to arriving at the event. I had already started writing my book about staying flat and elegantly rebelling against society's need to tell me what I should look like. I’d even thrown a massive tantrum about myself, and other breast cancer thrivers being told to lose weight to have reconstruction surgery.
And as I watched the Embrace film that night, every fear I'd ever felt about my body was suddenly appearing on the big screen. I wasn't the only one wanting to scream 'no' and 'stop' at every person who had ever questioned my size, shape or appearance. Or attempted to belittle me or make me feel small simply because I didn’t equal their uneducated version of normal and average.
It was that night in New Farm (Queensland) I decided "I got this”.
And I truly have got this – thanks to the Taryn sharing her passion and dedication through the Embrace movement and ever so oddly by being the owner of a bilateral mastectomy.
Embracing our bodies for me is about being your stylish authentic self. It’s about celebrating everything uniquely you and elegantly rebelling against society’s beauty constructs. However that manifests for you – not what society, or the beauty industry or diet industry determines. Or the latest influencer or fad on whatever social networking platform you are following.
For me embracing our bodies equals joyful living. Moving my body every day is a huge part of this, as I know how important this is to my body’s well-being. I too have learnt to not be regimented about what movement I do. It could be as simple as an oceanside walk or a weights session or exuberant gardening or furniture moving. Today it’s dancing!
Other components of my version of joyful living are eating nourishing, high vibrational foods, meditating and practising mindfulness. And like Taryn, having a better appreciation of my body, I am more aware of what it takes to look after it, which contributes to making me a better person for me and those I choose to share my world with.
And for those who have read my book “What happens when they don’t grow back…” – gratuitous plug here – you will know the importance of the tune “All about that bass”, so I shall hand my final para over to Meghan Trainor:
I see the magazines workin' that Photoshop
We know that sh*t ain't real
C'mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top.
And always remember to celebrate your uniqueness every day!
Peta-Ann is the Founder of Elegant Rebel®, providing support for other soul-full rebels in rediscovering their uniqueness and celebrating all that they are and can be. Elegant Rebels choose to follow their inner-knowing instead of societal norms and take heart-centred action filled with compassion, kindness and grace.
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