So for those of you who have known me forever – how many times have I annoyed you with this statement? You know the one ‘Nope. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different.’, when chatting about situations going on in your inner and outer worlds?
Too many times to recall? Or so often you now anticipate me saying it and throw it in before I have the chance? (You know who you are!) But tell me. Have you ever considered why I say this and where it may stem from? Oddly enough it is not to simply annoy folks! Truly!
Making this statement is, for me, a reminder that ‘I am here to increase the world’s vibration through acceptance.’ Now, that is a very grand notion and one which requires a flourish and perhaps an ostentatious hand gesture or two.
But what on earth do I mean by such a grand, seemingly egoic, statement? For me it’s quite simple – acceptance is mindfulness in action. However, I recognise, as with all words, we all have a variety of definitions based on our own lived experiences which become our version of truth.
For example, I was recently introduced to a version of the term subconscious which I would never have considered. To the person sharing their understanding of the word, subconscious means ‘less than’. Whenever they hear the term subconscious, they have a visceral response and a feeling of unworthiness surfaces. Where as me, subconscious means below, as in out of sight and inside us. Fascinating stuff hey, and see how I simply accepted the other person’s version of their truth without judgement?
So, what does acceptance mean? Dictionary time – and I can guarantee my version of acceptance is not really defined in the dictionary, but we shall give it a whirl. Out comes my trusty Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary 4th edition:
1. Willingness to receive
2. An affirmative answer to an invitation or proposal
3. A willingness to accept (conditions, circumstances, etc.)
4. Approval, belief
5. Willingness or ability to tolerate.
To be honest the closest is number three – with a little jiggling and standing on my head perhaps. In general, the dictionary version of the word acceptance leaves me with a sense that it involves a situation where one is either powerless or using their skills to power over something or someone. And this couldn’t be farther from the meaning I associate with the term acceptance.
When I speak about acceptance it is more in line with the spiritual and experiential psychology points of view. This is when you simply notice and embrace your experience without judgement or becoming defensive. It involves acknowledging ourselves or the situation as it is – no lenses involved – and not judging or defining ourselves or the situation. It simply is. For me, this is one of the foundational steps in mindset changes leading to personal growth.
And this is also where my version of acceptance differs from the clinical dictionary versions – at no point would I place tolerating being powerless in a situation or powering over someone or a situation into the definition of acceptance. Except maybe as the antithesis of acceptance. For me, it is not a passive word, and certainly does not mean not changing what you are able to in your circle of influence.
Acceptance is based in the true meaning of empowerment – when you are able to respond and not react, stay neutral, set your boundaries and claim these boundaries without judgement, reaction or retribution. As I said earlier, it is a foundational step in inner healing and personal growth and potentially a power tool in finding peace in challenges thrown our way.
And under all of this is self-awareness which requires a commitment to you and to changing your mindset and personal growth. And sometimes it takes putting away our egos and the muggles urge to hold onto resentment and to fully find that place of compassion, grace, clarity and forgiveness of ourselves and others.
I read somewhere today that ‘happiness wasn’t a destination’ and as a Happiness Coach I agree 1000%! Acceptance is the same. It’s a part of the ongoing odyssey of life. And as with any personal growth or taking on a new concept – be patient with yourself while you are learning as it will take time, practice and persistence.
While you are practicing look for signs that you are growing and moving towards an acceptance mindset. These can include:
· Me not saying ‘Nope. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different.’ quite as often.
· Feeling more at peace with yourself and the world around you.
· Responding instead of reacting to claiming your boundaries.
· Being more open to new experiences and perspectives.
· Being more present in the moment and less preoccupied with the past or future.
· Finding compassion, grace, clarity and forgiveness of ourselves and others easily.
And always remember while my version of acceptance has these underlying tenets, it certainly is bendy. Your version of acceptance as a practice is just that. It is based on your lived experiences and your personal growth odyssey. Find what works for you to be able to embrace life’s challenges with kindness, grace and equanimity – like the Elegant Rebel® I know you are.
Pic - Peacocks are symbols of grace, beauty, renewal, integrity, transformation and wisdom. They are connected to positive renewal and growth as well as self-love and acceptance.
Peta-Ann is the Founder of Elegant Rebel®, providing support for other soul-full rebels in rediscovering their uniqueness and celebrating all that they are and can be. Elegant Rebels choose to follow their inner-knowing instead of societal norms and take heart-centred action filled with compassion, kindness and grace. She is also a Published Author; Holistic Coach for Writers; Proofreader, Writer; Colour Therapist; Holistic Counsellor; Happiness Coach; Professional Psychic; Reiki Master; Certified Angel Tarot Card Read and Soul Coaching® Oracle Reader.
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